


SB 242

by GobsmackApplejack



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Averted Panic Attack, Blow Jobs, Condoms, Detailed warnings in End Notes, Hand Jobs, M/M, Outed against will, Outed to parent, Political, Secret Relationship, Stiles is obtuse, but not terribly, this requires some suspension of disbelief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:03:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13829946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GobsmackApplejack/pseuds/GobsmackApplejack
Summary: “Mr. Harris?”  Scott thrusts his hand into the air, sounding panicked. “I think Stiles has some kind of infection?!  Can you check?”Harris purses his lips, exhales loudly and makes his way over.“Boys, if you are messing around this is going to be detention.”“No sir. I just want to make sure Stiles is okay.  Like, what if he has walking pneumonia?  He could be sick and not feel it.”  Then, more quietly to Stiles, “You pooped twice today.  Maybe this is why.”xXxStiles is sent to the principal's office.  Shenanigans ensue.  (Actually, the shenanigans already started — and will continue indefinitely.)





	SB 242

**Author's Note:**

> SB 242 is a state bill in Texas written by a state senator that would entitle parents to access all written records held by the school district regarding their child’s “general physical, psychological or emotional well-being.” Opponents of the bill worry that it would endanger students who are lgbtq+ who feel unsafe coming out to their parents but might seek support or the confidence of a member of the school staff.  If they were to do so, the school would be required to allow parents access to student records if requested, thereby outing the student to their parents.  Under this law school staff could even be disciplined for withholding information from parents.
> 
> It then becomes a choice of seeking support at school only to be outed, or seeking no support at school, which could be the best resource a student knows or can find.
> 
> Reading about this bill is what inspired the idea for this fic.
> 
> So many thanks to [TroubleIWant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TroubleIWant/pseuds/TroubleIWant), [ Skyrose_Catara_Danza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyrose_Catara_Danza/pseuds/Skyrose_Catara_Danza) and [acetronaut](http://archiveofourown.org/users/acetronaut) for beta-ing this. They all helped so much to work this into a readable story. Still, I can't let go of my writing foibles, so you know remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
> Detailed warnings in End Notes.

  
  


Stiles runs down the hallway and skids to a stop where Scott is waiting just outside their biology class.  They tumble inside just as the late bell rings.  Mrs. Finch is nowhere to be seen, which is great; they won’t even get marked tardy.  Stiles already has seven tardies this semester.

As they take their seats, Scott leans over to whisper, “Hey, what took so long? I thought you were just getting your book from your locker.”

“I, uh, had to… take a dump.”  Stiles avoids meeting Scott’s eyes.  He hates lying to his best friend.

“Again?  Dude, you just went this morning!”

Stiles gapes and blinks at Scott for a couple seconds before he can respond.  “Scott, it’s a testament to our friendship that I am comfortable with you knowing the schedule of my bowel movements. But c’mon!”  He punches Scott’s shoulder.

The universe must hate them, because their old chemistry teacher, Mr. Harris, comes in and stalks to the front of the classroom to glare at the students. Through force of habit Scott and Stiles sit up straighter and focus their attention forward. Harris’s eyes narrow as his gaze passes over them.

“Students.  I’ll be filling in for Ms. Finch.  She had a family emergency and will be back tomorrow.”  There are noises of students shifting in their seats, but the class knows better than to groan.  Harris would probably assign extra work for that out of spite.  Stiles gives Scott his best eye-roll, though, and Scott bites his lip to hide his returning smile.

“Today you will be looking at human cell samples under the microscope.  Can anyone guess where we will get our samples?”  After the class throws out several suggestions - hair, skin, toe nail clippings, cadavers - Harris lets them know they will be taking swabs of the inside of their cheeks, like those taken for home paternity kits.

“Your workstations are already set up with microscopes. I will be coming around to hand out slides. Do not touch the surface of the slide.  Keep it clean so you will be better able to observe your samples.  Take a cotton swab from the box being passed around.”

They rub the cotton swabs on the inside of their cheeks and smear them against the slides to transfer cells to look at under the microscope. Harris instructs them to observe the samples of their partners, so Stiles looks at Scott's cells and vice versa.  Stiles focuses the lens and is able to see blobs that sort of look like sad little crumpled plastic bags with a dark spot, the nucleus, and a bunch of other little dark specks scattered around that are apparently bacteria.  Blergh.  He starts sketching what he sees into his lab notebook.

Scott takes a long time adjusting the focus. He starts sketching but is making frustrated noises.

“Dude this is hard. It keeps moving,” he complains.

“Moving?  What do you mean?”

Scott glances at Stiles' sketch and frowns, glances back at his own.

“Wait. Lemme see mine.”  Scott moves over to Stiles' microscope and looks through the eyepiece.  He looks up at Stiles, worried.

“Uh, dude.  I think you're sick or something. I'm seeing, like, serious bacteria on your sample?  And mine is, like, way cleaner looking.”

Stiles moves to Scott's microscope. He looks and adjusts the focus and sure enough, there are squiggly wiggly movements all over the slide. The slide with _his_ cheek cells. He looks at Scott and they stare at each other confused.

“Huh. I don't feel sick.”  Shit. Did he just catch something?

“Mr. Harris?”  Scott thrusts his hand into the air, sounding panicked. “I think Stiles has some kind of infection?!  Can you check?”

Harris purses his lips, exhales loudly and makes his way over.

“Boys, if you are messing around this is going to be detention.”

“No sir. I just want to make sure Stiles is okay.  Like, what if he has walking pneumonia?  He could be sick and not feel it.”  Then, more quietly to Stiles, “You pooped twice today.  Maybe this is why.”

Harris looks in the scope and fiddles with the focus.

After staring for exactly five seconds, he violently jerks back from the eyepiece.

He looks at Stiles, then Scott with wide eyes.

“Is this a joke?”

“What? No. What is it?”  Scott reaches out to hold Stiles' shoulder.

“If you did this on purpose-  This is grounds for suspension!”

Now Stiles is starting to panic.  “No!  What is it? Is it dangerous?  Like contagious or something?  Do I have bird flu or Ebola or something?”

“Where did you get this?  Whose slide is this?”  Harris is practically in Stiles' face.

Stiles says ‘mine’ at the same time Scott points at him.

“Mr. McCall.  You saw Mr. Stilinski take the cheek swab and wipe it on the slide?

“Yeah.”

“And he didn't switch slides or add anything to it, take anything from his pockets or backpack or anything?”

“No.”  Scott shakes his head bewildered.

“Did you touch the slide surface?  With your hands or anything else?”  
“No, I held it by the edges like you showed us.”

Harris casts his glance around to the students nearby. “Did anyone see Mr Stilinski doing anything other than swab his cheek and transfer the cells to the slide?”

Students shrug or shake their heads no, but it's unlikely anyone was paying that close attention - they were all busy with their own slides.

“He totally did what you told us to. We did it together. I was watching the whole time,” Scott says placatingly and a little defensively.

Stiles gives Scott’s shoulder a grateful nudge.

Mr Harris’s expression locks down.

“Mr Stilinski, go to the administrative office.”*

“What?  Why?”

“Do. As. You're. Told. I will be there momentarily.”

“Am… am I in trouble?  Am I sick?!”

Harris doesn’t answer, just gives Stiles the angriest glare he’s ever seen the man give, and that’s saying something, so Stiles takes his backpack, gives Scott a worried look, and goes.  Maybe the nurse will be able to diagnose him.

 

He walks to the office wondering what disease he could have.  The last time he went down a research spiral into communicable diseases he’d started with Ebola and ended on Lassa hemorrhagic fever, which… No.  He specifically did not clean the shed when his dad asked him to until his medical grade dust masks arrived from Amazon.  

He hopes it’s not too serious. Something like strep throat or mono maybe.  But how would he explain mono? Scott would ask who he caught it from, and what would he say?  As far as anyone knows, there is no one he could be kissing.  No one knows about Derek… about him and Derek. That they've been meeting in the bathroom on the north end of campus where no one ever goes to make out almost daily for the past two weeks.  He can't tell anyone this, though.  No only is Derek not out — everybody is still expecting him to get back together with Paige after they broke up last month — but also… his mom’s the Mayor.  And she’s up for re-election this year.  So, no.  Derek will not be announcing his new-found sexuality any time soon.  

But if this is some contagious thing...

Shit. He’ll at least have to tell Derek. He can get checked out by his own doctor.  Maybe they'll both get to stay home sick and can skype all day.  It would be cool if they got to be under quarantine together.

 

He steps into the office and Mrs. Hillman the office assistant, nods at him and darts her eyes to the chairs outside Principal Thomas’s office.  Stiles takes a seat.  He sees Erica filing some papers in the corner.  She gives him a smirk and a wink and goes back to her filing.

After only a couple minutes Harris storms in, places the microscope he brought with him on the counter and yanks Stiles up by the upper arm - Dude! Corporal punishment! Assault!  - and knocks sharply on the door.  At the muffled reply, Harris steers him in and dumps him into the chair across the desk from Mr. Thomas.

Of course Harris is the one to question him while Principal Thomas remains quiet.

“Who were you with?”

Stiles' mouth drops open but he stays silent, really not wanting to get Derek involved in this.

Harris gets in Stiles' space. “At lunch time, who were you with?”

Okay, if this is some CDC level emergency of course he’ll have to let them know Derek is potentially sick too, but they haven’t even established what kind of sick he is.

“Uh. Am I contagious?”

“Listen. You tell us who you were with, or you're facing expulsion.”

“What?!  You mean, like, sick leave, right?  I- _What_ ? For being _sick_?  Can you even-”

Luckily, there's a knock on the door and Mrs. Hillman sticks her head in.  “Sheriff Stilinski is here.”

Stiles groans.  Was he just in the neighborhood? Did he really come here in response to a call from Harris?  He must have used his siren.  Or run all the red lights.  Probably both.  Fuuuuck.  How bad is this?  

Principal Thomas waves his dad in. “Sheriff, thank you for coming. I'm sure you have much better things to do - _serving the city_ \- than come in here to be notified of your son’s infractions.”

Infractions?  Does contracting a contagious disease count as an infraction?

“Really, Stiles?”

“Dad, I-”

The Sheriff cuts him off with a calmly raised hand.  He turns to Principal Thomas. ‘What did- what happened?”

Harris sits up straighter and leans forward.  The Sheriff turns to face him.  “Sir.  In biology the class took swabbed samples of cheek cells to look at under the microscope and Stiles was found to have semen in his sample. In his mouth. He had semen in the sample from his mouth.”

“What?!” the Sheriff, Stiles, and Principal Thomas yell at the same time.  It would be hilarious if it weren’t so shocking.  It’s quiet for a second as the news sinks in.

Then, a soft, “Ooooooh,” from Stiles.  Suddenly everything makes sense.  The squiggly movements under the microscope, Harris’s irrational anger.  Stiles feels his cheeks suddenly burning hot. He can’t deny it.  He had been so worried about being sick that he didn’t even imagine it could be… But of course.  Realizing what those wiggly things under the microscope were make him remember being on his knees in the bathroom stall, Derek’s hands in his hair, his bitten off moans, his hips jerking as he came in Stiles' mouth.  Yeah, that’s what he was doing before biology.  Sorry, Scott.

“Now just a minute,” the Sheriff starts, then gives Stiles a look that means ‘keep your mouth shut.’  “This sounds pretty extreme.  Maybe there is a misunderstanding happening somewhere.  At the station there’s a pretty rampant case of strep going around.  Couldn’t that be mistaken for... this?” He tips his head towards Stiles.

Without responding, Harris pushes a button on the phone.  “Nurse Cross, can you come into Principal Thomas’s office and bring the microscope from Mrs. Hillman’s desk.

Everyone sits silently as they wait.  Nurse Cross bustles in cheerfully and puts the microscope on the desk.

Harris asks, “Can you tell us what the sample is under the microscope, please, Sarah”

“Oh, sure.”  She bends over the eyepiece for a few seconds then sits up.  “Healthy sperm sample. Good form. Good motility.”

“And can you tell when the, ah, sample was, um, given?” Harris presses.

“Oh, well.  With no long term storage situation and movement like that, it’s probably within the last half hour.  If your… ‘donor’ has super strong swimmers, it could be up to an hour.”  She looks pretty matter of fact and not at all curious about why she’s looking at a sample of semen while in a high school administrative office.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Harris says, looking at Stiles.

“Sure, no problem!”  She bustles out, leaving them in shocked silence.

“Okay, well.”  Sheriff starts.

“Dad, I-”

The Sheriff shakes his head at Stiles.

Harris, standing now, leans against the desk and crosses his arms.  “So.  Given the condition of… “ he waves his hand in the direction of the microscope, “he was most likely engaging in oral sex during the lunch period.”  He looks supremely smug.

“Stiles, is this true?” his dad asks.  His _dad_.

He… he’d always meant to tell his dad that his sexuality might be, not as straight as everyone might assume.  But there just never seemed to be a good time to do it.

 

He’d imagined it so many times.  Back when he’d first wondered about it, when he was eleven, it had been more of a question. Dad, I love Lydia Martin but sometimes I can't stop watching Danny in his lifeguard training class, is that weird? But he’d asked Scott instead and they’d talked it through.  It didn’t mean he was gay, they decided. Sometimes you just had to admire a really nice human form.

Discovering porn was like a whole new world and he spent so much time watching straight porn he didn’t realize when he started choosing videos based on how attractive the guys were.

Then, once he did realize, it was a short hop to find gay porn was just as good as straight porn at getting him off. At that point he made a mental note to maybe mention it to his dad, someday.

Then when this thing with Derek started (and that was a surprise in itself), he decided he would tell him.  He just had to wait.  For Derek to be sure of this thing between them, for them to be ready to tell their friends.  Hell, he was waiting for Derek to decide to be seen standing next to him in the hallways or eating lunch together. And also for Derek’s mom to have the election in the bag.  Just.  Never a good time.

 

He sits and stares at the wood panel of Mr. Thomas’s desk.  Someone at one time had carved, “I hate this school” into it. They tried to sand it out, but the words are still there, faintly.  He can feel his breathing getting shallow. Getting caught like this - in class, by a teacher - was humiliating, sure.  But they fucking told his _dad_ .  Stiles can feel his hands shaking so he balls them into fists _._ He licks his lips and notices the vague numb feeling in them, the tingling in his hands. Harris’s voice is a dull, indecipherable drone.  His heart is thundering in his chest and he wonders if anyone else can hear it, can hear his breaths come in quick succession.  He’s not all-out sweating yet, but he feels the prickle of perspiration on his forehead.

His dad, possibly noticing, puts his hand on his shoulder and squeezes.  Stiles looks over and his dad gives him a concerned look, but a small smile and nod too.  It’s that look his dad gives him when he’s checking in.  When he wants to make sure Stiles is okay.  Stiles could cry from the relief.  It... _this_ doesn’t change things for them.  Stiles takes several deep, slow breaths.  Gradually his breathing evens out.

“Okay,” his dad cuts in as Harris pauses for breath or something.  “First off. Are you telling me that Stiles was engaging in sexual conduct with… another student?”

All eyes move to Stiles.

“What?”  He’s not sure what he’s supposed to say.

“I think what we’re looking for here, son, is confirmation that this was not a teacher you were with.”

“Oh. Yes. Student. Absolutely.”

“So, who was it?” Harris demands angrily.

“Now just a minute. Did you actually see Stiles with this other student?  You just know he had... semen in his mouth. And it's possible they were not on school grounds. It was during lunch break, you said.”

Harris looks like his head is ready to explode.  “He engaged in sexual acts with another student during school hours!”

“Is there a punishment you are considering?”

“Suspension, definitely!  If he doesn't give us the name of the other student then expulsion,” Harris threatens.

Principal Thomas clears his throat and looks uncomfortable.

Fortunately, the Sheriff keeps his cool.

“Okay, well. As I see it, there's nothing you can actually prove Stiles did wrong.  He has a lunch pass so he’s allowed off campus. It may be questionable judgement to fool around in the middle of the school day, but he was not actually breaking any school rules that we know.”

Harris sputters, “B-but but-  he needs to tell us the name of the other student!  We need to contact his parents-”

“I don't think that is necessary.”  There's a hard edge to the Sheriff’s voice.  “Given that there is nothing you can accuse this other student of either.”

“Sheriff Stilinski!  This other student also needs to be disciplined, his parents notified-”

“Now, that’s where I disagree with you.  What if this other student is hiding his sexual identity from his parents?  What if he would be endangered by that information getting out?  I’m not naive enough to think this wouldn’t have huge repercussions for the student.  Possible _negative_ repercussions.”

“That wouldn’t happen-”

“How do you know?” Sheriff demands, cutting him off.

Harris looks uncomfortable and chastened.

Sheriff continues, “How about this?  I will take Stiles home now; he misses the rest of the day.  He will be punished for his questionable conduct during school hours.  I will also take him into the department with me tomorrow and he can contribute to our safe sex education program by updating the pamphlets and flyers.  And he will also clean the storage room and all the squad cars.  Even if it takes all weekend.”  Stiles groans. The Sheriff ignores it. “He’ll come back to school on Monday having learned a valuable lesson.”

Harris looks like he is about to argue again, but Principal Thomas speaks up, “That will be satisfactory.  Thank you, Sheriff Stilinski, for coming in and dealing with this.  I hope this never happens again.”

Both men stand and shake hands, while Harris fumes and keeps his arms crossed.

His dad lifts Stiles by the shirt collar - seriously? What’s with being led around like a kid today? - and steers him out of the office, through the halls and to his squad car.

 

“Really, Dad?” he complains as his dad guides his head through the door opening.

“Oh, you bet.  You act like a delinquent, you get treated like one.”

Stiles grumbles as he slumps into the seat.

After driving a few miles, his dad asks, “Is there anything you want to tell me, Stiles?  Now that we’ve had this...?” his voice trails off.

Oh.  Oh shit.  “Um, okay.  Um.  Dad, I’m bi?”

“Yes, I kind of figured that, but...is there someone you’re seeing?  You have a boyfriend?”

Oh.  “Yeah. Kind of.  Um.  But.  Can I ask him if it's okay to tell you his name?  He’s- he can’t come out to his parents.”

“Okay, well.  You don’t have to tell me his name, yet.  No one should be outed without their consent.”  There’s silence.  Stiles mentally curses Harris again for outing him to his dad.  He would have done it eventually.  Soon-ish, probably.  But it would have been his decision!

His dad’s voice breaks through his thoughts, “I would eventually like to meet this boy. I mean, soon.  Especially considering you’re having sex.”

“Dad!”

“So, I guess it’s time for the talk again.”  His dad’s voice sounds... weary? Disappointed.

“What?  No, Dad. No. I don’t need it!  Seriously!  Once was enough, way more than enough.  I can go the rest of my life without hearing you talk about sex again, really!”

“Well, clearly not, since you aren’t practicing safe sex.”

“What?  What do you-”

“Stiles.  There was semen _in your mouth._  Obviously you’re not using condoms.”

“Ugh.  Can you not say ‘semen’ anymore?”

“Stiles.”

“Fine.  Condoms.  Yes.  I’ll use them.”

“Do you need any?”

“Dad!  No, I don’t need you to get me condoms!”

“I will if it means you’ll use them.”

“Argh.”  Stiles buries his head under both arms.  After a bit of silence he looks up.  “But for the record...I haven’t- _hadn’t_ ever done anything before.  And I’m pretty sure neither has he, so… We don’t _really_ -”

“Stiles.  Have you actually heard the words, ‘I have never had sexual contact with another person’ from this boy?  And ‘I will never have sexual contact with anyone else while we're together’?  Are you willing to trust him with your health?  Your life?”

Stiles thinks about Derek.  About his smile when he thinks Stiles is just too idiotic for words, or his hands when they curl in the hair at the back of his head when they're kissing.  He thinks about how scared Derek looked the first time Stiles leaned in to kiss him, and the hazed look of wonder he had today when Stiles stood up after swallowing a mouthful of Derek’s come.

“Yeah. I’ll totally have his babies.”

“WHAT?” The car swerves a little in its lane but the Sheriff rights it quickly.

“Wha- I mean, I’ll totally use condoms from now on.”  Until they get tested, Stiles thinks to himself.  Because being with Derek without tasting his come ever again would be torture.  Cruel and unusual punishment.  The worst kind of hell.

“I also have to ask.  Is he your age?”

“Oh, uh.  He’s a senior.”

His dad nods.  “And you’re not being pressured or anything?  He doesn’t make you do anything you don’t want to, right?”

“Jeez.  No, Dad.  One hundred and ten percent willing participant here.”  

The Sheriff flinches minutely, “Okay. Just checking.  And is he eighteen yet?

“No, but he will be in...a few months.”

“Right.  Okay.  You know, technically, when he does turn eighteen, and you’re not… I’m saying, by the letter of the law it would be illegal.  But since you are together now and close in age it probably wouldn’t be an issue.  But, I… know of some cases where a parent was upset at finding out their kid was gay, and pressed charges against the boyfriend who was over eighteen.   _I_ wouldn’t, here. But it’s something to keep in mind for… future dating.”

Something about that doesn’t sit right with Stiles.  He tries to picture dating someone other than Derek and can’t.

“Okay.”  Stiles is quiet. Then, “I really want you to meet him, Dad. I'd introduce you now if I could.”

“Okay, kiddo.  Just let me know when he’s- and you’re- ready”

xXx

 

Cora announces at the dinner table that evening, “Stiles Stilinski was suspended for blowing someone at school.”

Derek chokes on his food. He grabs his water glass and takes several gulps. After his coughs subside he asks “How- What- How did you hear that?”

“Erica aids in the office fourth period.  She heard the whole conversation.  Harris was so pissed he yelled practically the entire time.”

“So, how- how did they find out?  Did someone... see him and turn him in?” Derek can feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat.

She scoffs.  “No, that's the great part. In Bio they took cheek swabs, and Stiles had a mouth full of jizz!”

“Cora!”  Talia says sharply.  “That’s enough.  We don’t need to discuss this at the dinner table.”

“What?  The part about the Sheriff’s kid being gay and blowing someone at school or him being expelled for having a mouth full of jizz?”

Talia closes her eyes. “That. Either. Both. We don’t need to talk about that any more.”

The rest of dinner is probably only awkward in Derek's head.

 

Later Derek finds Cora working on her homework in front of the TV.  He sets out his books and pretends to study too, meanwhile thinking about how to broach the subject of Stiles again.

“So, that kid in your class.  Did the other person get caught too?”

“No. Harris was trying to expel Stiles for not telling them who the other guy was, but his dad, Sheriff Stilinski, shut that shit down.  Harris was pissed.  Erica says she saw him saving the jizz sample.

“What?! Why?”

She shrugs and makes an ‘I don’t know’ sound.  “Evidence?”

“What?!  They’re going to DNA test it or something?!”  Derek swallows thickly, sure his dinner is about to make a reappearance.

“Meh.  I doubt it.  Doesn’t that cost a lot or something?  I mean, if the whole country can’t even get rape kits processed, wouldn’t this be, like, super low priority?  That would suck.  ‘Sorry we can't catch your rapist because we need to catch this high schooler who was getting his rocks off with his boyfriend’.”

“Yeah.”  Derek goes back to pretending to study for a while.  He can’t get anything done though, too worried about what’s happened, what’s going to happen.  He goes to his room to text Stiles.

 

Derek: Ur suspended?

Stiles: Who told u.  Just the rest of today.  Worth it ;)

Derek: Cora heard from Erica. Sorry. My fault

Stiles: Nah.  Sucks being outed but worth it seeing the look on Harris face when dad shut him down.

Derek: Outed?

Stiles:  They called my dad in and told him.

Derek:  Shit. I didn’t know.  I take it you didn’t tell them it was me.  Mom didn’t get any calls from school.

Stiles: Yeah.  Dad backed me up on not telling.

Derek: That’s cool.  U ok? How did ur dad take it?

Stiles: Better than I thought.  He didn’t make a big deal.  Maybe he wasn’t surprised

Derek: Would it help if I told him it ws my fault?

Stiles: No. Don’t. He knows ur mom.  He won’t out you, but I don’t want him to have to lie to her.

Derek: He wouldn’t have to lie.  I can tell her.

Stiles: Ur mom doesn't want the bad press

Derek: But that’s not fair to you

Stiles: Eh.  I’m willing to take it.

Derek: What did ur dad say?

Stiles: As long as ur not taking advantage of me he’s ok.. Told me to stop having sex on school grounds. ;)

Derek: He's right

Stiles: Yes but woods behind lacrosse field are technically not school grounds.

Derek: Ur terrible.

Stiles: That’s not what you said when I was blowing u :P

Derek: Stop

Stiles: That’s not what you said either.

Derek can’t suppress his laughter.  Doesn’t want to.  He’s been laughing a lot more since he met Stiles.  Even his friends have noticed, but don’t know what or who has made the difference.  Derek wants to introduce Stiles to his friends.  He wants to be able to walk the halls at school holding his hand, to bring Stiles over to the house so they can study together.  He wants to ask Stiles to prom.  He wants to, no, he _needs_ to tell his mom.

Derek: I gotta go do something.  Talk to you tomorrow?

Stiles: You better  ;)

 

“Mom.  Can I talk to you?” Derek stands in the doorway to his mom’s study.  Talia glances up at first, then closes her laptop and turns from her desk to face him.

“Sure, love.  What is it?”  She waves at him to come into the room and sit close by.

Derek perches on the edge of the sofa, alternately clenching his hands together and wiping them up and down his jean clad thighs.  She rolls her desk chair closer to him so their knees are almost touching.  “I…  I’m not sure where to start.”

“Okay.  Maybe, start with what’s most urgent, and then we’ll sort out the rest as we can?”

“Okay.  Um.  I... did something wrong.  And someone got in trouble, but I didn’t.”

She looks at him for a long moment.

“Is this to do with the incident Cora was talking about at dinner?”

Derek flushes.  Of course his mom would figure it out that quickly.  He looks at his feet and nods.

“Okay.  He got in trouble and you didn’t."  She pauses, allowing him time to continue, but he doesn't.  "Did you also want to tell me that you’re gay or that you have a boyfriend?  Or that you’re in a sexual relationship?”  She puts her hand on his knee gently.

“I guess, the gay part.  Well, bi, actually.”

She nods.   “You know there’s no difference to me, right?  I mean, I love you no matter what?”

Now it’s Derek’s turn to nod.  The tension in his shoulders eases and his eyes sting a bit. He didn’t realize how scared he must have been to tell her.

“And so Stiles is your boyfriend?”

He takes a breath before answering. “Yeah, I think so.  I mean, we haven’t talked about it.  We’re just…”  He doesn’t want to say ‘fooling around’ because what they are to each other is more than that.  At least Derek thinks so.  But they don’t really hang out.  In fact, no one at school even knows they’re friends.  It’s been mostly talking and flirting at their adjacent lockers and making out at lunchtime in the unused bathroom at school.  And, okay, it’s progressed to handjobs and blowjobs too.  “We’re figuring some stuff out. I mean, I wasn’t sure about liking guys, so I just - we were waiting to tell people.”

“Okay.”

“But.  I wanted to let you know I won’t say anything.  He won’t either.”

“What do you mean, love?”

“I won’t come out.  It would hurt your campaign.”

“Is that why you haven’t said anything until now?”

“No.  Uh. No. I don’t- didn’t know.  I didn’t know before?  And even when I knew I liked Stiles, I was still…  It’s all kind of new right now.”

Talia nods.  “Well.  I don’t relish the idea that a news outlet would run a story about how your boyfriend, Stiles was caught at school.  But as for you being gay- I mean bi- you don’t worry about that.  If people won’t vote for me because of that, then, well.  I probably don't want their vote.  And I’m willing to take that risk.  Nothing is as important to me as you kids.  You know that, right?  I would walk away from this office if it would prevent any harm, even emotional harm, to you kids.”

“Thanks, Mom.  That’s- that means a lot.”

“Of course.  I love you, sweetie.”  

"I love you too, Mom."

She cups the side of his face, then leans in to kiss him on the forehead.  “Is there something we need to do so that Stiles isn’t in trouble anymore? Or, taking all the blame?”

“I”ll check.  He was suspended for the rest of the day today.  I think that’s it.”

“If I call his father what kind of reaction will I get?”

“Um.  I don’t know.  What are you going to say?

"Oh, introduce myself.  Make sure Stile isn't being punished too harshly.  I've worked with Sheriff Stilinski before.  He seems like a good man. But I'd check to make sure he's okay with... things."  She waves her hand vaguely.

"His son being gay?"

"Yes."  She sighs.  "Being good at your job doesn't necessarily make you…” she pauses, considering her words. “an open minded person when it comes to your kids.”

"He said his dad was okay?  Let me text Stiles. Give him a heads up.”  She nods and waits while he taps away at his phone.

 

Derek:  I told my mom about us.  Or, she figured it out.  She wants to call your dad.  That ok?

Stiles: Whoa!!! I didn't tell him it was you!  What she say?  What does she want to talk about?

Derek:  She wants to make sure you're not being punished too badly. And that he's okay with you being not straight.  Can she call?

Stiles: So, a call from the mayor to tell my dad not to punish me?  Sure!

Derek: >:(

Stiles: oh no the brows of judgement! Is this us introducing our parents to each other?  Kinda soon but under the circumstances I see why

Derek: I didn't think about it that way.  Too soon? I don’t want to make it worse.

Stiles:  I was kidding.  I kid.  I’ll tell him now.  She can call in 5 min?

Stiles: Shit, dad saw me texting and wants to take my phone.  I may be cut off for the night. :(

Derek: Ok.  Maybe mom will talk him out of it.  hopefully.

 

xXx

 

Stiles tells his dad that Derek is his boyfriend.  Derek Hale. And that Talia Hale, _Mayor_ Hale wants to call him to talk.  His dad gives him a significant look - a look which Stiles can't quite decipher - then a hug, a really, really long, tight hug, and then the house phone rings.

Stiles goes into the living room to give his dad some space to talk, but so what if he can still hear his dad’s side of the conversation from there?

“Hello?”

-

“This is Sheriff Stilinski, but please, Mayor Hale.  Call me John.”

-

“Fine.  Talia.”

-

“Yes, I was just made aware today also.”

-

“No, thank you for reaching out.  That would be my concern too.  Glad we’re on the same page here.”

-

“Awkward may be an understatement.”

-

“Well, it’s not unwarranted.  He was definitely guilty of questionable school behavior, but I think I mediated some of the fallout.”

-

“No, Stiles is going to get disciplined, even if it’s not school mandated.  I have some work at the station he can do.”

-

“I agree.”

-

“No, I am.  The more think I about it, the angrier I get.  Not only did they out Stiles to me, they would have outed Derek to you.  Not going into how dangerous that could be -”

-

“Yes.  But there is always a chance…”

-

“Yes.” The anger packed in that one word surprises Stiles.

-

“And this could have been a whole news cycle and affected your term and possibly your reelection, and it’s all about something that shouldn’t even be an issue.

-

“That doesn’t have an impact on your ability to govern.”

-

“Luckily, yes.”

-

“Absolutely.”

-

“Thank you for calling.

-

“Well, it's your decision.”

-

“Thanks.  We’ll be at the station by 8 tomorrow.”

-

“Terrific.”

-

“Goodbye, Mayor-”

-

“Talia.”

 

Stiles hears his dad hang up so he grabs the National Geographic magazine from the coffee table and pretends to be engrossed in an article on mountain climbing in Myanmar.  His dad probably doesn’t fall for it.

“So kiddo.  Derek Hale.”

Stiles can't help the proud smile that cracks its way to the surface. “Yeah.”

“I’ve always admired Mayor Hale.  Let’s have them over to dinner this week.  You can cook.”

 

xXx

 

On Saturday Talia takes Derek to the police station to help Stiles clean squad cars. They smile shyly at each other and Stiles takes Derek inside to find more cleaning supplies while Talia and John talk.  It’s not even a punishment anymore, since watching Derek bend over to polish rims and tires is definitely a reward.  They talk about telling their friends that they’re dating, but Stiles points out that they haven’t even actually gone out on a date yet, so Derek asks Stiles to go to the movies that night.  (Which they end up postponing since both the Sheriff and Talia agree that part of their discipline should be getting grounded for a week.)  It’s an amazing day, considering.  Actually, it’s an amazing day, period.

“My mom’s putting together a statement.”  Derek tells him as they’re rinsing off the last squad car.  He’s biting his lower lip like he’s nervous about something.

Stiles forces himself to look Derek in the eye.  He’s wearing this totally distracting heather gray tank top which is not helping.  Or it’s helping too much.  In his pants.  

“Oh?  What about?”

“Well, if I come out, she’s sure her opposition will run stuff about me and try to smear her campaign with it.”  Derek is wiping the same dry spot on the squad car, over and over.  “She’s thinking about talking about privacy and safety for minors.  There was that state bill in Texas that conservatives wrote that would basically require schools to out kids to their parents if the parents asked.  She’s heard some people talking about it like it would be a good law in Beacon Hills.  She wants to stop that before it gets any traction.”

“Oh.  I heard about that.  That’s great!  That she wants to stop it.  That would be such a bad law.  Can you imagine what assholes like Harris would do with it?”

“Is- is it okay if she talks about me?  I mean.  I don’t know what to do about- about us.  We talked about telling our friends, but if other people find out about us, you could get a lot of attention. It might get bad - the people who are against her as mayor are assholes.  Maybe you wouldn’t want people to know we’re together?”

“What?  If we’re dating and out I’m gonna tell the world!  Hell yeah, look at me. You wish your boyfriend was as hot as mine!

Derek actually looks mortified.  “Uh.  You won’t actually- “

“Heh. No, I won’t.  But that’s the dream.”  Stiles waggles his eyebrows.  Derek actually blushes.

“This is terrible, but her campaign consultants tell her it’s better to get it out early in the campaign season.  So it’ll be old news by voting time.  But they also want to wait a little so people don’t put two and two together about you getting caught at school.  I mean...  I’ll take the heat for that if you want.  It wouldn’t look so great for my mom, though.”

“Oh.  Oh Shit.  Wait, you’re right.  That would suck.”

“Well, aside from not telling anyone we’re together, there’s not much we can do about it.  Someone will figure it out eventually.”

“Fuck,” Stiles breathes.  This really sucks.  Why did the cheek swab assignment have to happen _that_ day?  Stiles thinks about what would have happened if Ms. Finch had been there instead of Harris.  He wonders if anyone else in the class gets busy during lunch, but just not on that day.  Surely he and Derek can’t be the only people who have fooled around during the school day.  There have got to be others.   _Others_.

“Okay. I have an idea. Can you hold off?  On the press conference? And the-” He gestures back and forth between them.  “I have some things I need to take care of first.  I think I can fix this.”

 

xXx

 

Over the course of the next two months Stiles is seen kissing, hugging, and holding hands with various people: Scott for three weeks, and Danny, Jackson, and Boyd for two weeks each.

Since Scott is the first person who is seen kissing Stiles, half the school thinks he was the infamous _sperm donor_. But those in their bio class who saw Scott's confusion argue that it must be someone else. There are enough conflicting stories that it casts doubt on any one rumor and no one can settle on a firm answer.  Eventually the gossip dies down.  By the time Stiles is seen holding hands with Derek no one even bats an eye.

...

(Erica and Lydia had to threaten to withhold sex from Boyd and Jackson so that they would do this for Stiles.  Boyd because... he and Stiles aren’t really friends, so why should he have to do this?  And Jackson because, well, hate is a strong word, but it’s used very frequently.  And vehemently.  In fact, he went about it — fake dating Stiles — with so much resentment that people thought they had a kind of BDSM relationship.  They were talked about more than any other couple Stiles was in.)

...

(The guys never even realize the handmade t-shirts saying “Team Scott” or “Team Danny” were talking about Stiles' love interest.  The “Stoyd” shirts Scott thought were for that Australian musician and all the guys nodded in agreement. The “Stackson” shirt with a picture of a studded leather collar (or is it a cockring?) just goes completely over their heads.  The girls just giggle to themselves and give each other knowing looks.)

 

xXx

 

“Bye, Dad!” Stiles yells, hoping to slip out for his date with Derek without his dad coming to lecture him.

“Stiles, wait.”  Ugh.  Too late.  He waits by the door as his dad comes out of their home office with a small box _._ He gets closer and Stiles sees it’s a box of condoms.

“Aw geez, dad.  I told you-”

“Hey, kiddo.  I just want to make sure you’re, uh, you know…  Prepared.” He grimaces as he holds out the box.

“Dad!”  Stiles covers his face with both hands.

“Don't ‘dad’ me. If you think you're old enough to have sex you're old enough to have these conversations, painful as they may be.”  The sheriff puts the box of condoms down on the small table by the front door and tugs one of Stiles' hands down, giving him a significant look.

“Fine.” Stiles makes a gesture that might be interpreted as “bring it on.”

“So, I guess dating Derek hasn't seemed to affect your school work _negatively_.  So I'm going to allow that this is something you've been... handling, apparently. But we are still going to have conversations.  Often.“

Stiles' shoulders slump. “Okay.”

“So.  Have...fun.  Stay out of trouble.”  The sheriff reaches out, pauses, then claps Stiles on the shoulder.

“Wait.  That’s it?”

“Yeah.  What were you expecting?  Aren’t you going to be late?”

Stiles grins. It may come out a little more manic than he intended. He reaches for the door.

“Wait,” his dad adds.  “Just so you know, I’m having the guys on constant patrol around the preserve tonight. Please don’t let me hear about you getting caught... _parked_ somewhere.” He looks at the box of condoms, shuddering.

“Sure thing dad!  Thanks for the condoms!”  Stiles grabs the box.  “Don’t wait up!”  He slips out the door.  As it closes he can hear the Sheriff groaning.

 

xXx

 

Stiles pulls the jeep up to the Hale house but doesn't cut the engine.  Derek is already out the door and has jumped off the porch by the time he even thinks of reaching for his keys.  He’s seated and buckled in a matter of seconds.

“Let's go.” Derek says, looking nervously at the front of the house.

“What, no kiss hello?” Stiles dips his chin low and looks up through his lashes in what he hopes is an alluring way.

Derek huffs and leans over the center console and gives him a quick peck but Stiles catches a hand around his neck and pulls, holding on for a much deeper kiss. After a second Derek melts into it.  His hands come up and grab at Stiles' shirt.  It’s a little heated for a few seconds because, well...

Because it's been a while since they’ve been alone together. Since that day they were caught, actually. It's their first official date after being seen holding hands at school, after all the subterfuge of Stiles dating every guy in his social circle, and some outside of it. Until now, they had only spent time together after school and on weekends at each other’s houses, always with other people around.

At Derek’s house they had to keep the bedroom door open, Cora and Derek’s mom stopping by or walking past occasionally.  They were only allowed to hang out at Stiles’ house when the Sheriff was home, giving them an even more blatant feeling of surveillance.

Obviously, “making out” in the school bathroom at lunch time is no longer an option.  Someone in the administration has been making sure the halls and bathrooms are frequently patrolled.

Stiles tried to coax Derek out to the woods behind the lacrosse field a couple times, but somehow Greenberg always seemed to be hanging around. Stupid Greenberg.

It bears repeating that tonight will be the first time they'll be together, alone, since that day they got caught.  Stiles is excited and nervous.  To say there's a lot of pressure riding on this would be an understatement.

“Let's skip the movie. Keep doing this instead,” Stiles mumbles against Derek’s lips.

Derek pulls back and glances at the house. A curtain is hastily pulled shut in one of the front windows.

“Yeah, no. Cora and Laura would give me hell for it.  And they’ll quiz me on the movie in front of my mom just to be dicks.”

“Laura’s home?”

“Yeah. She said she couldn't get any studying done at her dorm.”

“Do I get to meet her?”

“Do you _want_ to?  She’s like Cora but more powerful and evil.”

“Oooh. Sounds hot.”  Derek gives him a flat look. “Okay, fine.  Let’s go see superheroes crush stuff.”

 

The movie is the latest in the Marvel universe so Stiles has been looking forward to seeing it; but as soon as the lights go out, he forgets why.  Derek leans over to whisper something to Stiles, who leans in to whisper something to Derek, and before they know it, they’re kissing.  They end up making out for two solid hours.  

They go to the diner after, holding hands and smiling at each other with lips pink and swollen.  They order and eat while reading from the movie’s Wikipedia page so they are prepared for pointed questions from Derek’s sisters.  Afterwards, Stiles is unlocking the Jeep’s passenger door when Derek presses into him from behind, nuzzling into the back of his neck.  After a few seconds Stiles turns around in the small space, smirk on his face.

He’s about to lean in for a kiss when, in the corner of his vision, he sees a patrol car coming down the street, the typical slow-roll drive-by that cops use to observe or intimidate.

Stiles recognizes Tara in the passenger seat, looking at him through her open window, and he waves weakly.  She nods in return and then says something into the radio handset clipped on her shoulder, which he can’t make out, but knows is about him.  The car continues until it’s out of his line of sight, blocked by the next building on the street.

“What’s that about?” Derek’s fingers clench tighter around Stiles’ waist.

“Ugh. Spies for my dad.”

“Really? What are they trying to catch you doing?”

“Just… you know. Keeping me out of trouble. I think they’re all getting a kick out of this. A lot of them have known me since I was little.”

“Wow. So there’s no privacy for you anywhere in Beacon Hills?”

“Nope. Which is why we should get out of here.”

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.  But we can’t go to the preserve.”

“Why?”

“My dad’s sending patrols there too.”

Derek looks seriously and thoughtfully at Stiles.  “Okay. I think I have an idea.”

 

At Derek’s direction, Stiles drives down a few dirt roads, near the preserve but still on Hale property and far enough from his house that Derek is sure no one could be wandering or driving by accidentally.

They eventually leave the small dirt roads, weaving between trees for a minute then stop in what feels like the middle of nowhere.  Stiles cuts the engine and lights so the car falls into complete darkness, save the beams of moonlight filtering through the trees.

They smile nervously at each other. Stiles flashes back to that first day they met at their lockers.  He felt like a deer in headlights at seeing the most adorable, small, bunny toothed smile directed at him by Derek Hale.   _The_ Derek Hale _\--_ captain of the basketball team, baseball all-state, dated a college girl when he was a freshman -- Derek Hale, was smiling at him.  The legend he’d known then was so different from the person he knows now.

He reaches out and takes Derek’s hand in his, interlacing their fingers, but it’s Derek who breaks the silence.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you.  My mom spoke at the rotary luncheon this week. She talked about that state bill.  And mentioned me. Well, not me by name, but 'one of her kids'.”  

“How did they take it?” Stiles leans across the center console.

“It was okay.  Good.  Of course the people there were her supporters.  Some people came up to her after and said they appreciated what she said. Someone invited her to speak at the youth crisis center in Beacon Valley.”

“That's great! Maybe it won’t even be a thing.”  Stiles leans further into Derek’s space, staring at the lips he hasn't kissed nearly enough tonight.

“And her numbers are still good, up a little even.”

“That’s cool.”  Stiles smiles and puts his free hand on Derek’s thigh.

“She-”

“Derek…”. His voice is breathy. He slides his hand higher.

“...wants to-”

“ _Derek._ ”  It’s a whine now.

“Oh.  Yeah, no. I’ll…”  Stiles' hand reaches its mark and Derek sucks in his breath.  “Oh.  Fuck.  Stop.”

Stiles freezes.  “Stop?”

Derek shakes his head emphatically.  “No, I'll stop… talking. You.  You keep...”

Their lips meet, both leaning across the gear shift and Stiles realizes that this isn’t going to be comfortable.  The jeep’s seats don’t recline more than a few inches; he should suggest getting into the back seat.  But Derek is making these noises and he wouldn't want those noises to stop even if his dad suddenly pulled up in his cruiser.  Well, okay, maybe in that case.

Stiles is sucking on Derek’s neck, his hand cupping Derek through his jeans when a flash of another car’s headlights sweeps through the Jeep.  They both groan and spring apart.

The car pulls up right behind them. Stiles can tell from the light rack it’s a deputy. He groans and tries to fix his clothes and hair. Make himself presentable. Derek leans back in his seat, face tipped up, eyes closed, pained look on his face.

He recognizes Haigh walking up - at least it’s not his dad - then shining his flashlight in through the driver’s side window.  Stiles opens it.

“Heey, Deputy Haigh. What’s up?”

“Stiles.  I’m sorry, but you guys- You can’t loiter here.”

“Wha-” Stiles sputters.

“Excuse me, deputy.”  Derek leans across Stiles so Haigh can see him through the driver’s side window too.  “This is private property.  My family owns the land.”

“Uh.  Mr. Hale, right?”  Derek nods.  “Yeah, so, Mayor Hale called the Sheriff and asked him to keep an eye on the woods out here.  The Hale property.  She’s worried her opposition will be trying to make some trouble for her campaign… so asked us to patrol this area specifically.”

Derek sputters in disbelief.

“Oh my god.  Your mom is cockblocking you!” Stiles yelps.

Haigh clears his throat.  “So you boys-  Uh.  Will have to move along.  Find somewhere else to… go.”  He gives them one last uncomfortable look, clicks off his flashlight and walks back to his car.

They sit while the lights of the patrol car disappear into the trees.

“What do you want to do?  It’s,” Derek checks his phone, “ten thirty.”

“Oh my god. I can't believe they’re doing this to us!”

“Do you want to… to call it a night?” Derek looks at him questioningly, disappointment in his voice.

“Wha-  no!  Fuck no!  I- They-” Stiles cuts himself off, a plan beginning to form.  “I have an idea,” he says determinedly.

 

xXx

 

“This… doesn’t seem like a great idea.”  Derek is in the back seat, sitting with his back up against the side door, one leg extended over the bench seat, the other dropped down into the footwell.  Stiles is kneeling in between his legs.  There's just enough room for what he plans to do to Derek.  

“No, no.  It’s the best idea.”  Stiles crowds in close, yanks on Derek’s shirt, pulling it off once Derek lifts his arms. “No one will think of looking here.”

“I don’t know- ooohh.”  Stiles finger grazes Derek’s nipple. At hearing the reaction it draws out, he does it again, and then again.

“Stiles. Stiles.  Oh my god.” Derek arches up into his touch.  Stiles continues his ministrations, even as he uses his other hand to work Derek’s belt open.

“Hey, hey, wait. It’s your turn.”  Derek straightens and pushes at Stiles’ shoulders.

“Haha. What?”  Stiles looks up but his fingers keep working until Derek’s pants are undone.  

“You… you know... last time.”

“That doesn’t mean…” he pauses to bend down and lick Derek’s nipple. “That was so long-” another lick, “ago.  I want to...”  Stiles’s words fall away as he tastes Derek’s skin, inching his way down his chest and stomach.

Derek grabs his shoulders firmly. “No!  I’ve been waiting — oh my god! — you don’t know how much I want to suck you off.”  Derek pushes him away so forcefully it takes Stiles by surprise. Stiles gives a yelp of protest as he’s manhandled onto his back at the other end of the seat.  Now _he_ ’s backed up against the door with Derek hovering over him.  Derek makes quick work of both his shirts, flinging them off behind him.

“Wow, that’s hot.  Okay, okay. You win.” Stiles stops his struggling.  He relaxes into the seat with a soft smile and runs his knuckles gently across Derek's cheek.

Derek turns his head to kiss at his hand then re-focuses, undoing Stiles’ jeans and tugging them down carefully along with his underwear.

They both seem to freeze as his dick springs free.  There’s an overhead light in the parking lot and floodlights from the nearby building; the streams of light coming into the car seem to illuminate his dick like a damn chiaroscuro painting.

“Fuck,” Derek whispers as he stares for a moment.  He glances up and their eyes meet, and - Derek looks lost, Stiles thinks, his eyes wonderingly wide.  But then he moves in with a purpose.  Only, where Stiles had been expecting the wet feel of Derek’s tongue or lips, he instead nuzzles his entire face into Stiles’ crotch.  He’d feel self conscious about it if he weren't so ridiculously turned on.  As it is he tries to think about something, anything to delay the inevitable: Baseball. Chemistry. Harris. Ew.

At the thought of Mr. Harris, his traitorous mind thinks back to that day, to the meeting with Mr. Thomas, and then to the conversation with his dad.  He freezes.

“Fuck.  Derek.  We need. Condom.”  He can barely get the words out.

Derek sits up, looking dazed, then his brow furrows.  “Shit, um. I have some, in my jacket.” He looks out the car window, like he’s considering going out to get it.

“No, we’re good. I have… here.”  Stiles looks around, then sits up to grab his shirt. He fishes around in it until he finds the pocket and pulls out a strip of condoms. Ripping one off the end, he tears it open carefully with his teeth and rolls it on.  The motion reminds him of that summer he and Scott got a hold of a couple of condoms, and had practiced putting them on, taking turns in the bathroom.  But, not the time to think about Scott, he tells himself.  He shakes his head to rid it of the offensive thought and leans back into the car seat.

Derek nuzzles into his dick once more and, you'd think the short condom break and thoughts of Scott would have killed his boner, but nope.  He’s right at the edge again immediately. When Derek moves to put his mouth on his dick it's no use. It’s a matter of minutes -- Who is he kidding? One minute _tops_. More like seconds -- before he’s grabbing at Derek’s hair and moaning.

“Oh shit.  Derek. Derek, I’m gonna...I’m gonna come. Fuuuck.”

Derek doesn’t pull away and Stiles feels like he’s releasing into Derek’s goddamn _throat_ he’s taken him so fucking deep.

Stiles sits in a daze for a few seconds but is brought back to full attention when the feel of Derek’s warmth moves away suddenly.  He opens his eyes to see Derek kneeling, pants pushed down around his thighs, holding himself over Stiles with one arm braced against the backrest, hunched over in the small space.  His other hand is working at his dick, eye clenched shut in concentration.

Stiles scrambles up and pushes at Derek’s shoulders, so he kneels up straighter, head pressed into the roof of the car interior.  Stiles slithers down into the footwell until he’s face to face with Derek’s dick.  Face to dick.  Whatever.

He nudges Derek’s hand away and takes over pumping his cock. Feeling blindly around the seat, he finds the condoms and pulls off another.  As he rolls it on Derek whimpers - in a good way.   By angling Derek’s dick away from his body Stiles is able to get the tip of it close to his mouth. If he stretches, he can flick it with his tongue.  

Derek moans at the contact and rocks his hips forward so he can press deeper into Stiles' mouth. Now Stiles can suck at the head of Derek’s dick while jacking his shaft.  It’s sort of uncomfortable and his neck is at an awkward angle, but it’s all worth it for the sounds that Derek is making, hips jerking in small thrusts.  He flattens his tongue and swirls it around the underside, where he can reach, where he knows he likes a little more friction himself.

Stiles looks up and sees the moment Derek notices he’s looking at him.  His eyes widen and his hips freeze, then jerk quickly in small, rapid thrusts. He squeezes his eyes shut as he comes with a groan.  Stiles keeps sucking and pumping his hand, and thinks sadly of not getting to taste Derek’s come.

Derek collapses sideways, angling his body so he doesn’t crush or bump into Stiles too much.  He tugs at him until they’re both lying together, legs bent at odd angles, however they can fit on the seat, catching their breath.

Very aware of his limp dick in a full condom — Stiles can feel the come trickling out; it’s going to make a mess he can tell — he sits up and carefully pulls his off.  Seeing Derek’s, he carefully takes his off too.

He’s looking around for somewhere to put them, some scrap of paper that he could wrap them in when Derek catches his chin with his fingertips.  He leans up and brings their lips together.  After a few seconds, he angles his head and deepens the kiss.  

Even through the taste of latex, there’s the taste of Derek. Stiles thinks he may have an addiction.  The condoms drop somewhere, forgotten.

“Fuck.  You’re so sexy,” Stiles says as they come up for air.

This makes Derek stop where he’d been starting to suck at Stiles’ neck. “ _Sexy_?”  He chuckles.

“What?  You are!”

“I just.  Don’t hear people use that word.”  He goes back to sucking for a moment, then pauses.  “But if anyone’s sexy around here, it’s you.”

“What? No no no no.  Listen. You are gorg- ahhh!” he cuts off as Derek pushes them both down into the seat and he can feel the coldness of wet dick against _his_ dick.  He’s not hard again, yet, but this will definitely speed the process, especially with Derek slowly, carefully, moving against him.

He tries to finish his thought, tries to list other things that are sexy about Derek, but can’t.  His mind has gone blank because Derek is kissing him while dragging their partially hard dicks together.  Soon enough they’re fully hard again and Derek lets a little more weight down, more pressure for their dicks to grind against each other.

It’s bliss.  And torture.

Stiles can enjoy it a little more this time, the urge to come not so immediate. He can look at Derek’s face above his, beautiful eyes half lidded, sweat gathering at his hairline, dripping into his eyebrows and to the tip of his nose. He can look down between their bodies and see the contrast of their skin tones, the muscles of Derek’s stomach clenching with the effort of holding himself over Stiles. God, seeing their bodies moving together, their cocks pressed against each other, sliding the bit of loose foreskin pulled back from Derek’s tip — it’s mind blowing.  Stiles closes his eyes before just the sight of them together makes him come.

When he thinks he might go crazy from the sustained arousal — he actually thinks about those commercials warning against prolonged boners — Stiles wraps his hand around them both.  It makes Derek groan and roll his hips more quickly.  Stiles flexes his fingers, creating a tight channel for them to thrust into and Derek’s moans get louder.

“Oh, fuck, Stiles.  Oh, fuck, yeah. You feel so good.  I- I. Ahhhh.”

At the first spurt of Derek’s come, Stiles slides his hand to collect some of it into his grip and the added lubrication makes everything feel that much better. He snaps his wrist a couple more times and brings himself off, his moans joining Derek’s over the slick wet sounds of skin and sweat and come.

They collapse together in a heap to catch their breath.

When they finally start to move, it’s with groans at the mess between them.  Stiles sacrifices his plaid shirt to the cause and wipes them both off with it and tosses it on the seat next to the door.  They pull up pants, pull on t- shirts and get presentable, even though neither of them want to leave just yet.

Instead they shift around until they find a somewhat comfortable position to relax in.  Derek is sitting, one foot propped against the partition separating them from the front seats and Stiles is lying with his head in Derek’s lap.  He sighs.

“We should get going. My dad is going to send a car to make sure the Jeep’s in the driveway by midnight, I’m sure.”

“Okay, yeah. I have to drive Cora to her PSATs tomorrow, early.”

They finish adjusting loose clothing and climb out of the back seat into the parking lot.   Stiles freezes, though, as he sees Deputy Parrish coming out of the station. Derek bumps into his back and they both stumble forward.  Noticing their movement, Parrish looks over and smiles, probably out of habit from years of seeing Stiles always around, tripping over himself.

“Hey, Stiles.”  Parrish’s smile drops slightly and he looks a little confused at Stiles' sudden appearance from the back of a squad car, followed by Derek.

“Heeeey, Deputy Parrish.  I lost my lucky water bottle that day I cleaned the squad cars.  I just realized it when I wanted to take it to the lacrosse game tonight.  Derek was just helping me look for it.”

Parrish’s eyes go from Stiles to Derek to the squad car, and then back again. Stiles actually sees the moment he makes the connection.

“Are you kidding me?  In my fucking squad car, Stiles?” He’s never sworn in front of the boss’s kid.  He must be really pissed.

But Stiles is indignant. “Hey.  I was left with no choice! You guys are everywhere! My jeep is like a homing device for every spotlight in the department!” When Parrish doesn’t - or can’t- say anything in return, he continues, “And to be fair, you weren’t on the schedule for tonight.”  Stiles hunches his shoulders with a sheepish look.  “And you keep the cleanest car,” he adds under his breath.

Parrish’s jaw works frantically, even as no words come out.  Finally, “Oh my god, Stiles! Use your own car, like a normal teenager!”

“Sure thing, Jordan!” Stiles grabs Derek’s hand and pulls so they’re quickly walking through the station parking lot. They head for the Jeep parked innocently across the street in front of the closed library.

“Tell my dad I’ll be home by curfew!”  Stiles calls out to Parrish.  “And tell him ‘thanks for the condoms’!”

“Wha-  Stiles!  You little-!”

Stiles cuts Jordan off by tossing the squad car keys at his head.  He cackles as he runs across the street and gets into the Jeep.  Derek stops at the passenger side door with a mortified look, shrugging his shoulders in a semblance of apology before getting in.

Stiles leans forward so his face is visible through the windshield and gives Parrish a double thumbs up, but tries not to peel out when he drives off.  That might be pushing his luck.

 

Best first date ever.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Did Stiles remember to clean up the condoms? Who knows?
> 
>  **END NOTE WARNING:** In biology class, students have to take cheek swabs to look at skin cells under the microscope.  Stiles' sample has sperm swimming around on it because he just gave Derek a blowjob during lunch.  Harris calls his dad, outs Stiles to the Sheriff, and threatens Stiles with expulsion if he doesn’t tell them the name of the other student. Later, Stiles and Derek go on a date and trade blow jobs and frot.
> 
> BASED ON REAL EVENTS!  The cheek swab story I was told by an acquaintance years ago. Apparently it is a frequent occurrence, because it happened in the class of my beta too?  She was the person who looked at the slide.  What are the odds?  Also, a guy from my husband’s high school, graduated, then went out with a guy still in high school.  The younger guy’s parents pressed statutory rape charges so he went to jail.
> 
> So, from the comments I have already received, people don't believe that in California it is still against the law for an 18 year old to have sex with a 17 year old. Here's my quick research:
> 
> The “Romeo and Juliet” exception: when parties are both minors.  
> Named after Shakespeare’s young lovers, “Romeo and Juliet” exceptions are intended to prevent serious criminal charges against teenagers who engage in consensual sex with others close to their own age. In California, there is a Romeo and Juliet exemption for consensual sex between minors who are three or fewer years apart in age. However, this is a limited exception because it serves to reduce the conduct from a felony to a misdemeanor offense. The conduct is still illegal, but someone protected by this exception will face the possibility of smaller fines and reduced jail time.
> 
> My [tumblr](http://gobsmackapplejack.tumblr.com) and my [sterek tumblr](http://mutualpiningandawkwardness.tumblr.com). Come say hi!


End file.
